so let's talk penis.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
