did you get engaged???
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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