Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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