i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
