id be glad to
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
