Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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