I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
