we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
