btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
