i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
