worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
