the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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