Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
