I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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