were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
a search helicopter?!
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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