If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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