so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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