me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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