Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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