by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize