So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
