guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
