I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
