she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
she pinky promised me she was 18
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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