You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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