dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
