covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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