this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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