I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
