matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize