Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
