Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
