Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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