You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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