yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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