She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
