i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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