some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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