Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
