I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
