I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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