Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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