i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
