This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
