That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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