I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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