i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
