so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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