Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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