Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
