It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
