Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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