I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
