i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize