Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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