she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
