The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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