I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
