That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
