Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
