We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
