STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
