you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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