someone threw a dead crab at me
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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