Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize