don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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