lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
