Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
