hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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