I think my vagina is haunted
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
