If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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